Another form of monitoring

Speaking of loneliness, I want to take my novel as an example because of loneliness. When I was writing this novel, some stories around me were in the late 1990 s, and the cases of kidnapping children were endless. Every day, when I read the newspaper, I could see very sensational headlines. The background of these events was that the structure of the district was changed
I remember when I was a child, people who lived in the back area of Dalongdong Temple were often out of doors. When I put it home, my mother was not at home. Next door, Mom Zhang would come and say that your mother was not feeling well and went to the hospital to get medicine. You would come to my house for dinner first. The area was so close that you would feel that you were always taking care of monitoring. Taking care of monitoring is two different meanings. When my mother was away, Mom Zhang asked me to go to her house for dinner. This was to take care of me. I fled to see a Taiwanese opera, and suddenly it was Mom Zhang. She said that you fled and I was
Many people will say that your time was warm when they saw the care, but as far as I am concerned, everything in the district was being monitored, which would cause whispers all over the sky. At that time, the radio was not as good as the media, but because of the tight structure of the district, the news spread faster than anything else.
In those days, more and more people moved into apartments in the apartment-style new district of Taipei, and then you will find that the doors and windows of apartments are equipped with iron windows, but the people in adjacent apartments don’t communicate with each other. When both men and women in the family go to work, children become keys. In those days, children are a new term. Children have a bunch of keys around their necks, and they have gone home to eat alone.
Change is not the district structure. I found that the proportion of single parents is getting higher and higher from one-third to one-half, which is almost impossible when I was growing up. No matter how bad the relationship between husband and wife is, the couple will not divorce because it is a shameful thing to standardize divorce in moral ethics, but after the 1990 s, women have a higher acceptance of divorce. It is more difficult for women to accept marriage than men.
divorce
During this period, the society is facing a change, not the economic zone but also the family style. I am trying to write in this novel because of loneliness that people reorient me at the stage of social transformation.
The first person in the novel said that I wrote a woman in her late menopause, who was about forty-six or seven years old, and her physical condition was facing problems. At that time, I thought of my mother, and she had many strange phenomena after she was forty-five. At that time, I didn’t know anything about menopause, and I was not interested in understanding why my mother was often in poor health. At that time, several brothers and sisters were older, leaving home for employment and seeking the youngest brother to live in the dormitory. As soon as I received her mother’s words, I rushed home and took her to see a doctor for more than a year. The doctor secretly told me that you should pay attention to the fact that your mother may be menopausal. She is not ill, but she will always say that she is unwell. This is the first time that I have come into contact with the term menopause. I have also translated some words and learned that apart from the natural phenomenon, a full-time mother with six children is lonely in the house after her children grow up and leave home. She may adjust to it and let her children go home to take care of her through illness.
Just as the doctor told me that her heart problems were greater than her health problems, she devoted herself to her family all her life and became an inertia, that is, her children were separated, and she couldn’t stop because no one ever encouraged her to develop my interests. In my novel, I came to examine my neglect of my mother’s mental state when I was young. I assumed that it was at that time that my mother sold the public dormitory because the children left home and my father didn’t need to live in a small apartment together.
My husband and wife are not so close, and they don’t talk about anything, and they don’t hug and kiss in foreign movies. I don’t think we have ever seen our parents do this before, and we were born. I mean, having children and loving at that time are two different things. I believe my father never told my mother that I love you even more. In retrospect, my parents talked less than ten sentences a day in their old age.
In the novel, I face my husband, who is two years older than her, wearing reading glasses and reading the newspaper every day. She really wants to talk to him, but everything she says will be taken as a chat by her husband. She lives in an apartment on the third floor and on the fourth floor. One is a single teacher, Liu, a famous old gentleman who loves children, and the other is a single mother, Zhang Yuxia, with a baby.
Zhang Yuxia is a professional woman, but in the novel, my husband and children suddenly stopped when her only child went to the United States to study. During the day, when her husband went to work, she lived alone in the apartment and was very lonely. She heard what happened in the apartment from the speed of her footsteps or the lock tone. For example, Zhang Yuxia’s lock tone turned faster and faster, and then the box fell into a great silence after an iron gate was hit hard. When a young boy came back, he would be as light as a cat, and his lock tone was very small, as if he didn’t want others to know that he had come back or gone.
In the novel, I analyze other people’s heart problems in the apartment, but I am in the greatest loneliness. When you live in the apartment, you will find that the apartment is very strange. You can judge from the sound, but it is a door.
We may not talk about each other early when we meet on the stairs because Karen is alienated in the apartment.
In the novel, I went through menopause and my husband didn’t like her very much. She tried to find a friend to associate with Zhang Yuxia. She met a doll and asked him what his last name was. He said his last name was Zhang. One day, when she met Zhang Yuxia, she called her Mrs. Zhang. Unexpectedly, Zhang Yuxia answered her and called me Zhang Yuxia. I am a single-parent doll with my last name now.
I was hit hard because in her generation, Lun didn’t have a single parent or a child with his mother’s surname. She didn’t know how to answer the question. She stood there on the spot. In the novel, Zhang Yuxia was a female post office worker in a small town in Taiwan Province. She met a boy who was a soldier in the town. When the boy left the town, she was pregnant, but she found that she didn’t even have the boy’s address. She found out that on the first day of enlistment, the boy said that the two years of military service were enough to talk about a love affair in this small town. After two years of love, it’s irrelevant that Zhang Yuxia gave birth to a doll in such a situation. In her only love experience, she was full of resentment, but she still raised the doll independently and gave it her surname.
This kind of ethics is the first person in the novel, but it has gradually taken shape among young women in the 1990 s, and it is even more common in Taiwan Province today. We will read in the newspaper that celebrities say that I am not married, but I want to have a child, so the new ethics has gradually been accepted.
But this is a very novel thing for me. When she went to bed that night, she couldn’t wait to tell her husband that Mrs. Zhang’s husband was not surnamed Zhang on the fourth floor. When she finished, her husband stared calmly from his reading glasses.
Then he said, despite so many things, he continued to read the newspaper without expression.
This makes me feel very frustrated. They talk less than ten sentences a day, and they may all be nosy, but this is her closest relative. Karen stipulates that they should sleep in the same bed at night, but they have no foreskin, including physical foreskin, including mind.
I think this is a quite common phenomenon. A bed is a ethics, which stipulates that we must live together, but there is no ethics to regulate what to do and what to do in this bed, that is, ethics but no substance.
I often cite three nouns to talk about this matter. We seldom hear the word sex and think it is ugly, but it is a very scientific name and an objective behavior record. The term sex is more accepted by modern people, as if it is not a scientific behavior but also an emotional mind. However, in my parents’ generation, they didn’t even dare to make love. They would say Dunlun.
When I was a child, I read in Hu Shi’s diary that once I didn’t know what Dunlun was, I ran to ask my mother what Dunlun was, and my mother answered my child’s question. I didn’t know until I grew up that Dunlun meant to have sex, Dunlun meant to have sex, and Dunlun meant to have sex, that is, this behavior was to have a child. Making love is not for pleasure, and it can’t be called animal cruelty.
It’s interesting that these three nouns refer to the same thing, but they are three kinds of ethics. Are you having sex or not? You have judged that this is ethics loneliness.
Lesson one: You have to find out what kind of life behavior you want to accomplish in a ethics, whether it is desire, happiness, animal ability or compliance with norms. You can subdivide and speculate on these three levels of differences, and you can determine your position in this huge foreskin of ethics.
Is Aaron a protection or a cage?
When I was so lonely in the novel that my husband always thought she was meddling in the apartment, one day she wanted to leave. She wondered why Zhang Yuxia could tell others so credibly that she was a single mother and I couldn’t. Since all the children have grown up, I can divorce and leave.
She walked to the corner and met the owner of the glasses shop. Her husband went to get glasses a few days ago and still quarreled in the shop. Did the owner of the glasses shop say goodbye to her? Oh, I walked home step by step. She found that she used to abide by Sharon and was recognized by a person in the alley. She didn’t know where to go. She was not alone at all.
When a middle-aged woman lives in an area for a period of time, she is no longer herself. She is also the wife of someone. When she meets someone on the road, she will be greeted by others, and she will ask her husband. She doesn’t know where to go. She has no relatives, no friends, and she doesn’t dare to go to a hotel. Her only possession is a key, a key at home.
Loneliness is a terrible thing for a person who is accustomed to ethics and norms, just like being in the vast sea. For this middle-aged woman, her greatest walk is to go to the corner and turn back. No one knows about this trip except her, and the owner of the glasses shop will not know about her thoughts of leaving.
This is the story of a friend of mine. Datong told me that she had a bad day with her husband and wanted to go, but she found no place to go on Zhongxiao East Road for a long time. I don’t think she really had a place to go, but she couldn’t confidently tell people that she could go because she didn’t believe her, because when a person disappeared for 30 or 40 years, I couldn’t get it back.
Many people ask me why this novel is written in the first person and is about a middle-aged woman. My idea is to be able to put myself in such a position. I am such a woman. What do I worry about? I am a person who leaves at any time. I can’t imagine that my mother has never done such a thing in her whole life, and she can’t even walk alone for a day. This is another dilemma.
She didn’t have a chance to look for me. We never dared to ask this question. If we ask our parents this question, I believe she will cry and she will be shocked.
I was born and lived abroad for a long time, and I come back every few years to visit my parents in central and southern China. His mother called him if she didn’t call him, complaining that his father loved gambling and used his savings to speculate in stocks. He remembered that his mother had been complaining about his father since he was a child. Later, when he went abroad and returned to China, he listened to his mother’s complaints, complaining until he cried and said that I couldn’t stand it and I couldn’t live with him anymore.
These words were repeated again and again until my friend couldn’t stand it, so he told his mother that I would take you to get a divorce the next day. My mother cried even harder and scolded him angrily. How can you say such a thing as an unfilial child?
This is the method of LUN pestering her, which combines the behavior of divorce with complaining, constantly complaining and turning complaining into a part of LUN. She agrees with the role of complaining, and she is willing to play this role in her lifetime. Don’t you see, the roles of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the TV play are also the same? This kind of plot always represents that the subconscious knot in Lun’s loneliness has always been there, and most of them are women